The Virtues as Super Habits

How Long Does it Take to Form a Habit?

 

This year [2024] I became a Grandpa. I still feel too young for this. His name is Owen.

Owen recently learned to walk, and there’s a point to this. This isn’t just a proud grandpa show off. There is an intensity with which he takes every step. He concentrates.

It’s because at that stage he hadn’t yet developed the habit of walking. We know—you and I—that once that habit of walking is established, he won’t give a second thought to every step. From concentrating on every step to not even thinking about it. And then before you know it, he’s out there mowing the lawn for you.

Wouldn’t it be great if children could learn every habit that they needed for success in life in the same way that they learn how to walk? In other words, naturally. But they don’t. They don’t.

There are habits of thought, of action, and feeling that kids just don’t learn even though they are vitally important for making decisions, for relating to others, and for managing emotions.

These are habits that have to be taught. They don’t come naturally like walking does. These habits were taught by pretty much every major civilization in history—before ours—until recently when, in the majority of schools, these habits are no longer being taught.

 

Poor Choices and Bad Habits

 

Poor decisions in personal lives among young people lead to all kinds of catastrophic consequences. We also see what happens when they grow up, in terms of poor decisions in business, poor decisions in government—all kinds of troubling consequences.

The inability to establish and maintain human relationships is at the root of everything, from the decline in marriage… to the great division in our country, where neighbor hates neighbor because of just who you vote for.

The very real pandemic of anxiety and depression, particularly among young people, is because of an inability to manage emotions.

Every time a difficult decision has to be made, it’s a real struggle. Every time some relationship issue comes up, it’s just like Owen, who’s every step was a real battle. Or every time a strong emotion comes up—it’s really, really hard for them.

Even making a phone call can be a big deal for many young people. There was an article about this in the Wall Street Journal. A young man plays a pump-up song that to get himself in the mood before he has to make a phone call. There’s even a woman who calls herself ‘the phone lady’. She’ll give you training so you can overcome phone phobia–for $480 an hour.

There are a basic set of habits of thought, action, and feeling largely missing from our society with terrible consequences.

The good news is that they are being rediscovered in a number of places where human effectiveness is taken very seriously.

 

Building Character Strengths

 

The Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania call these habits ‘character strengths.’ At the University of Michigan’s Center for Positive Organizations, they call them ‘positive traits.’ In consulting firms like Deloitte—they refer to them as ‘capabilities.’ McKinsey and Company refers to them as ‘distinct elements of talent.’

In a small number—a very small number—of colleges and universities, like my own—the Catholic University and the Busch School of Business— we call them by their real name.

What are they called, these habits of thought, action, and feeling?

Virtues.

When most people—even good, well-formed, well-educated people—hear the word ‘virtue,’ what they hear is this: ‘a good person.’ So, ‘be virtuous’ means ‘be a good person.’ It’s as if I came to the Napa Institute to tell you to be good people.

It would be like Charlie Brown in class: ‘Virtue… be good.’ And rightfully so. It’s kind of vacuous. What am I supposed to do with that?

 

Virtues are Superpowers

 

I think we are missing the point in a very important way. Virtues are a specific kind of habit. Each habit gives you, literally, superpowers.

I’ve taken to calling virtues super habits.

For example, the virtue of gratitude. There is extensive scientific evidence about the virtue of gratitude. One study divided 60 people into two groups. One group was told to journal every day about something they were grateful for. The other group did not journal and went about daily life. 

At the end of two months, there was an amazing difference; the group that journaled was happier. As you grow in the habit of gratitude, not surprisingly, it makes it easier to be grateful, it makes you healthier, and it makes you more effective in restraining yourself.

Virtue is a habit that anyone can acquire.

If you are disorganized, it’s not because you have some genetic deformity, it’s because you haven’t cultivated the habit of orderliness. If fear tends to rule your life, it’s because you have not yet cultivated the habit of courage.

Making tiny changes repeated every day makes a big change in your life.

This character development is what every civilization before ours did and what we are largely abandoning, and the terrible consequences of this are all around us.

 

Virtues in Practice

 

Whatever is the biggest struggle in your life right now, there is a virtue for that.

St. Thomas Aquinas shows us that there are different virtues for the different dimensions in life. His system includes the theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity; a set of intellectual virtues; and a larger set of practical virtues, the day-to-day living kind of virtues.

He observes that all day long everything that occupies us can be categorized as thoughts, actions, or feelings. He groups those feelings two kinds. The feelings that push us away from things we call fears, and the feelings that attract us to things we call desires.

Let’s think about the four Cardinal Virtues; Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, and Temperance. Prudence is practical wisdom. It’s the virtue or habit of making wise decisions. Justice is the habit of treating others fairly. Fortitude, or Courage, is the no the habit of not having fear… that’s that’s impossible… it’s the habit of moving forward despite being afraid.

Cardinal comes from the Latin cardo which means hinge or pivot. Other virtues pivot around the cardinal virtues. An example is courage, the habit of moving forward even though you might be afraid. There are four different virtues that are allied virtues that pivot around it; one for each of four types of Courage. St. Thomas Aquinas groups the challenges you might face in life into ones that can be overcome and ones that must be endured.

The challenges that can be overcome are further split into two groups. Magnanimity is the virtue of overcoming challenges by human effort. It comes from the Latin mana anima or ‘big soul’. Whereas, Munificence is overcoming a challenge with financial effort, such as giving away significant sums of your own money for a good cause.

To clarify, there isn’t a virtue for giving away other people’s money.

There are also physical and mental challenges we face. Perseverance is the virtue of overcoming physical challenges, while resilience overcomes mental ones. Aquinas anticipated cognitive behavioral therapy by 750 years by detailing the virtue of resilience as, for example, overcoming depression, by taking the action to get out of bed and rewiring pathways.

Forming habits takes practice, such as ‘I’m going to go 10 minutes longer than I normally would’. It starts to get easier, and you realize it’s elastic.

The list goes on:

• the virtue of abstemiousness or having the right relationship to food
• the virtue of sobriety for the desire for strong drink
• the virtue of chasteness for the desires of the flesh
• the virtue of thrift for the desire for more
• the virtue of contentment for the desire for better things
• the virtue of restraint for the desire to do pretty things
• the virtue of humility for the desire to do great things 
• the virtue of diligence for the desire to know things
• the virtue of meekness or ‘gentle firmness’ for the desire to be in control
• the virtue of forgiveness for the desire to hold grudges
• the virtue of orderliness for the desire to play
• the virtue of Utopia or ‘good leisure’
• the virtue of Gravitas for movement in social situations
• the virtue of suppleness for health
• the virtue of modesty for how to dress

 

Virtues are the Answer to our Cultural Crisis

 

I hope you’re starting to see how the implications can be so enormous for ourselves, our families, schools, organizations, companies, and so many problems facing our society today. Our situation could be improved significantly if we could get particularly young people to start doing these little practices to help them grow in these virtues.

We need a restoration of virtue in this country and in this world.